So, the cat crate. I said I’d come back to it.

When my parents opened the floodgates for this idea there were a couple of peculiar criteria (i) I was not taking my car, poor Minnie, she’s going to be mothballed for a little while (ii) I was absolutely taking my house cats. Granted, last time I asked the parentals if they’d look after my cats for a bit it turned out to be three years, but still, they’re super cute and only small…. It turns out that it’s a complete arse to move country with cats when there are planes involved.

The logistics of moving inter-country weren’t too bad, I sourced a cat friendly place to live in London very promptly (thank you, lovely landlady!) and managed to usher in the cats the same day the friendly Aussie man and van team took all my sentimental possessions to a container. They screamed the whole first night, in shifts, so they got sleep but I did not. By the second night they were less scared, so didn’t scream, instead they’d clocked this new regime meant that we’d be sharing a bedroom – and I found my face licked and accosted with what we in my family call “paddy paws” until I resorted to sleeping under my pillows. Delighted to say we’ve all adjusted and sleep in harmony; I retain majority ownership of the pillows.

So, looking to the next leg: we notched up pet passports quite quickly – I have a great vet – so the ability to travel was sought. But, as I wasn’t previously aware, pets cannot travel at weekends, and nor can they travel on the usual nice bright and early morning flights which mean you miss the worst of airport security – since they have to be at the airport three hours before the flight, and the cargo depository isn’t open all hours. Furthermore, not all planes have a casket/pet section (yes, that is a thing, both need the right air pressure and regulated temperature, it makes sense, if a bit morbid – at least they can’t hear the screams in the passenger area of the plane) (more morbid still, sorry). So my flight options were very limited before I started.

Once I had spent two weeks discussing with an airline my best options re flying with cats, certain airlines for instance have a restriction on the number of people flying to pets (and I’m outnumbered) then realising they don’t fly to Tenerife…. I located myself a handy lady at Gatwick. So far we have my flight booked, the correct cat crate on order, and a spot in the casket/pet section reserved – but now we’re in limbo; she needs my Tenerife address in order to book their ticket, and I don’t have that yet because the letting agents haven’t got anywhere available on the 1st of July near the marina of choice which is (of course) pet friendly.

Then to the next issue: I have purchased the maximum 40kgs luggage allowance, in which I’m going to have to pack the cat feeder (tres useful if you’re an unpredictable Mummy in London and not around to feed at set times, absolutely essential if you’re in the Canaries and expecting to be out at sea), a small quota of cat litter and catfood (because, obviously, my life, one of them is on a special diet). And what we’re going to do about the litter tray remains to be seen. I get my cat litter delivered by Amazon, which I think/hope exists in Tenerife, so again this can be organised once I have an address – but from the point of arrival I’m going to need a litter tray which certainly cannot fit in a suitcase without seriously interfering with my clothes and books quota. People have suggested the temporary use of an oven tray (which would summarily be disposed of!!) but I think I’m going to see if I can ask the letting agent if they can provide an actual litter tray….

Once they have found me somewhere to live, of course.

Oh, and I’m very happy to confirm that no-one wombled the cats; at one point I had to leave them on the street in their carrier (in Lambeth!) for that vital four minutes, so it was a distinct possibility.

p.s. Several people have asked if the cats have photos in their passports; after discussing the same with my mother we have established that we don’t want to seem like “those kind of people” (when, you know it, we are precisely those kind of people!).