How to make tuna tartare at sea.  If you aren’t at sea please go to your local fish counter and then skip to step 5…..

Step 1
– Ensure you are sufficiently far from land or fishing boats and put out approximately three boat lengths of line, utilising preferred tuna lure if it hasn’t been stolen, and worry not if you only have a small rod and broken net, determination is key here.  Keep watch whilst other crew are asleep, especially for auto helm dropping and boat pirouetting which could get the line caught around your keel or in the engine propellor.  The latter is Very Bad and can’t be fixed with a simple reverse pirouette.

Step 2
– When reel clicks repeatedly, stop the boat, and shout “Fish! Fish!” down the companionway.  Fellow crew should appear shortly with large plastic bucket, oven dish, kitchen knife and life jacket – should the need arise for hanging off back of yacht.  At this time someone may also put boat dog in the forepeak shower; boat dog knows the reel clicking means TUNA, and he is not helpful.

Step 3
– Catch fish!  This step may take some time if the fish puts up a fight.  If not already done, move fenders to allow access to pushpit.  Once fish is near the surface climb down to water level with large plastic bucket, if fish is very large kitchen knife can be strapped to boat hook with duct tape to use as spear.  Fish can then be manouvered by hand into laundry bucket.  Determine whether of sufficient size and form for capture or release, and if keeping behead asap.  Beware: Fish may flap around a bit for the next ten minutes or so.  Ghastly.

Step 4
– Gut fish.  Ask someone who has done this before.

Step 5
– Take sufficient raw tuna (on the boat this was half a small tuna per person), remove skin and bone, then chop very, very finely.  As finely as you can chop an onion.  This will take a long time.  Add half a red onion finely chopped, and the equivalent to a quarter of a red onion pile of capers finely chopped.  Beware: Capers are likely to make a break for it as the boat lurches.  Fold together with a lashing of good olive oil, and chop some more.  Think you’re done?  Chop more.

Step 6
– Add pinch of salt, pepper and juice of a lemon, and pack tightly into a flat dish.  Clingfilm over the top and refrigerate for ten to fifteen minutes.  If preparing early add lemon juice just before serving, then pop back in the fridge for ten to fifteen minutes.

Step 7
– Serve with wasabi paste or dijon mustard, as preferred. Fresh bread optional and dependent on distance from land.  Be prepared to share with passing finches.