​Those baby steps milestone cards… where are the grownup ones?

– Today I forgot my own name when shaking hands with someone.
– Today I said “like” or “um” so often I started to hate myself.
– Today I forgot how to write when impromptu asked to take notes in a meeting.
– Today I said sorry when someone else bumped into me.
– Today I said thank you when I held the door open for someone.
– Today I got the giggles during a moment of silence.
– Today I lied about loving a haircut.
– Today I ate an entire block of cheese.
– Today I silently tutted at someone for standing on the wrong side of the escalator.
– Today I got the lift to the wrong floor and had to get the fire steps back again.
– Today I missed my bus stop and walked in the same wrong direction until the bus was out of sight.
– Today I had an imaginary race with a stranger.
– Today I fixed the printer and had the worship of my entire open plan area: doughnuts were presented.
– Today I acquired a roadsign as a beer trophy. 
– Today I found, and drank, a sad cold forgotten cup of tea.
– Today I realised ten minutes through a new book/movie that I’d read/seen it before.
– Today I inappropriately had a Christmas tune in my head in summertime.
– Today I ongifted something I know is going to come back and haunt me.
– Today I waited for confirmation I’d given the right change.
– Today I had to wiggle dance dry because there were no towels in the shower room.
– Today I found myself running in time with someone at the gym and spent 40mins trying to alter my step.
– Today I was that person who stood up for a lady with a BOB badge.
– Today I accidentally bought two left shoes.
– Today I had to use my LinkedIn profile to prove my age and buy prosecco.
– Today I found a parcel which had already been replaced by Amazon.
– Today I waved back awkwardly at a stranger.