There are many perils suffered on the sea, some of the lighter ones you may or may not have experienced:

– Hearing a repeated and annoying banging at night which you are unable to locate despite many hours of investigation
– No room at the marina, and having to spend the night at anchor
– Being at anchor and discovering that your dingy has a leak and is in effect a paddling pool
– No fish, but many a seabird are after your lures
– When the sat phone won’t connect and you worry that since the nearest AIS signal is 45NM away your land contact may start to panic that you’ve disappeared bermuda triangle style
– When your fellow yacht loses their navigation lights and you have to check the AIS to ensure they are not sinking
– The cloud cover means the skipper can’t do her sextant homework
– You nap between watches, therefore sleep patterns are up the spout
– You have a glorious afternoon watch, but because everyone else is asleep there’s no-one to be terribly British and discuss the weather with
– Teeth are brushed before/after naps and meals, so approximately ten times a day
– Showering, however, due to water being precious and the absolute nightmare of removing all clothes, happens every two to three days; though utterly joyful when one can
– You have dreadlocks because salt, spray and sleeping on a rollercoaster for three nights
– Sports bras give you spots, but underwired bras chafe, so you embrace wet weather gear and abandon bras altogether
– There is no privacy, you sleep with all doors open, and are guaranteed to walk in on someone in the heads
– The palaver of dressing in the dark, when it is layers which include buttons, poppers, braces, zips and velcro
– The frustration of trying to locate things in the dark, especially dropped headphone buds
– Sleeping with your possessions on your bed, including expensive prescription glasses, because if you put them anywhere except beside you you’ll never find them when you need them in the dark
– Wearing so many extra layers you put off using the heads for hours and then have to go through the rigmorole of gloves-lifejacket-waterproof-fleece-sallopettes-shorts-leggings-pants as quickly as possible
– Taking off shortie wellies regretting having not earlier put on socks
– Losing items in inner pockets
– Manourvering cups of tea from galley to the companionway, and similarly boiling water for rice/pasta; salopettes are recommended
– The cusp of running out of tea or milk, but really needing a cup of tea
– Waking up at the foot or head of your bed because you’re sleeping on a rollercoaster
– Falling out of the heads and onto someone
– Bumping. Into. Everything.