Over the years I have moved a lot, and big moves too – thousands of miles, pack up my life, sell or give away possessions, start again somewhere new with my suitcases and a cat crate. But this recent move, to working from home, to seeing no friends, to a life truly only with myself, took a different type of adjustment.

My mother worried about me when I was out at sea for days at a time – I didn’t help by phoning and crying on occasions I was on shore – and she worried about me when I lived on an island and could go days without seeing a friendly face. I wasn’t worried, I knew I had a plan, and I knew I had plans. Things are very different now, none of us can plan anything; but this isn’t a pity me post, this is a realisation.

I have always been a planner, it was a reason people were surprised I wanted to be a sailing instructor, you can’t live to a schedule when you are at the behest of the wind. However, I felt I had plans; I knew when I was working, I knew what I wanted to achieve every day. When I wasn’t working I set myself small goals. But I always looked forward to the big plans, to the knowns, to the – until now – concrete items in my diary; holidays, birthdays, weddings. One by one being striked through as they are cancelled.

Last weekend I was very sad. I asked if someone would like to see me for 10mins from a safe distance, I just wanted to see a friendly face. They said no, I cried. Then I watched the Queen tell us to be strong, and I cried.

But as of this week, maybe I have passed the Wednesday, the hump day of lockdown, I feel better. And I hope you all do too!

I have no plans, but I am making plans to make plans! To go to the South of France with my sister. To drive my currently retired car to see friends in Bristol. To have lunch on the terrace with my parents. To go to our favourite pub and eat excellent Thai food with sailing friends. To sit in a park, picnic and laugh. To go back to Lanzarote and feel the breeze off the sea on my face. To go to the gym, the charity shop, the library…..

To do all the stuff we used to take for granted, which I have stopped missing and feeling sad about missing, rather started to feel the anticipation about getting through this and saying yes to plans again.

Anyone who didn’t say yes to plans before, and I am guilty of this, for saying no because you’re feeling fat or have anxiety about whether you’ve been invited out of kindness – suffice to say, after all this, if people don’t want to see you they don’t have to, and you don’t have to see them! If we can cope with social isolation, we can all cope with a bit of FOMO and some quiet time when we need it.

A huge hurdle I have overcome this week was getting frustrated with myself for repeatedly eating the contents of my fridge/cupboards; I am one of those people who doesn’t usually have food in the house. Now I have moved all of my lockdown provisions to a locked cupboard, which I will open only if I get sick and/or need to quarantine, and if I don’t eat them at the end of this I will take it all to a food bank. I have the reassurance of having the food, but also not thinking of it as my food, a huge weight off my shoulders.

And a plan to, hopefully, give it all away.