The average internal monologue is 4,000 words a minute, for some it can be up to 6,000.

That is a lot of constant criticism. Of repeated reminders of how likely we are to fail, to mis-step, to blunder, be laughed at and ridiculed.

Does the inner voice ever encourage or embolden? Mine doesn’t. Mine is every unimpressed teacher, every strangers’ glare, every time my parents said “disappointed in you”.

And yet we step up, we surprise ourselves by our resilience, every day we continue on and try again. Partly obligation, of course, it isn’t appropriate to ignore the alarm on a Monday morning; but we silence the voice telling us we cannot, and make whatever small steps are required to begin to complete our day.

6,000 words a minute telling us we are going to fail, versus 100 words a minute from a friend or colleague or loved one telling us we have done a good job, that we are strong or brave, that we are someone they respect or look up to, that our opinion or input is desired, that we are a good friend.

It is so hard to remember the best and not allow it to be overshadowed by the worst yet to come. To misquote one of my favourite shows, let’s be both; the inner negative will probably always be there, but it shouldn’t overwrite all we achieve; the possibility of failure or having already failed and not realising it yet, the shadow just around the corner, the head bowed to stifle a laugh at our expense; if we feel we have achieved in the moment we should be proud. And we can still be scared.

These feelings can coexist, we just have to know we have done our best, will try again tomorrow, and perhaps everyone else – both outside and inner voices – will be kinder.